A Beautiful Mind

I found out that I lost a friend this week.

I don't know all of the circumstances and frankly, I don't want to know.
I want to believe that he was doing what he loved most in this world.

This post certainly is not meant to be a eulogy, I have not the heart to express how I feel, for the grief is still too near. If I were a worthy man of letters, I would be able to come up with something that would put Shakespeare and George Bernard Shaw to shame. Sadly, everything that comes to mind, seems banal and unworthy. Bill always, chided is literally a little to harsh, but had a snicker at me being a lapsed Catholic. Perhaps then, it is fitting for me to quote from Cardinal Ratzenberger's eulogy to Pope John Paul II.

 "Follow me." The Risen Lord says these words to Peter. They are his last words to this disciple, chosen to shepherd his flock. "Follow me" - this lapidary saying of Christ can be taken as the key to understanding the message which comes to us from the life of our late beloved Pope John Paul II. Today we bury his remains in the earth as a seed of immortality - our hearts are full of sadness, yet at the same time of joyful hope and profound gratitude. These are the sentiments that inspire us, Brothers and Sisters in Christ, present here in Saint Peter's Square, in neighbouring streets and in various other locations within the city of Rome...

This passage resonates with me for two reasons. The first, I would like to believe that the streets of Toronto will be just as full for Bill's funeral. If I could be there I would.
The second is much more personal and in a way selfish. For those that read this for the first time and don't know me, I'm dying. The cancer is winning. I've been thinking a great deal about what death entails. Having been raised as a Catholic, I can't help but think of what comes next. Who will greet me into the afterlife, after all I am going to die before all of my contemporaries and family. It would be a very comforting thought if it was my friend Bill.

Follow me is right.

If? When? We are to meet again, we would finally be able to settle many a theological argument started over good food and single malt. I loved playing the Devils Advocate and challenging Bill's intellect, happily I stumped, frustrated and vexed him on more than one occasion. If I greeted Bill with a drink and a mischievous grin, he knew I had thought up something challenging and usually greeted me with "What blasphemy have you thought of this time?"
I will always cherish those conversations.
I will always cherish the laughter and good natured mocking. I used to tease Bill that it was unfortunate he wasn't Catholic as I would have actually gone to confession and told the truth. Bill's typical response was that I would have been a credit to the Inquisition, I'm still not certain how to take that one.
One thing I won't miss is playing Trivial Pursuit with him. Playing, implies everyone gets a turn, woe to you if you followed Bill, on more than one occasion he finished on one go. But, it was that very versatility that appealed to me. You could turn to him as friend, teacher, and confidant. He never objected to a topic that I was aware of, he would listen and then with sage wisdom, not just reply but open a dialogue. I've yet to find that vast knowledge and eloquence since we parted ways for Trinity and Australia.

Today, it is true all my heart is full of sadness, sadness at the loss of someone that I had the joy to know for even the most fleeting of moments. I am also filled with a profound gratitude to know that such a remarkable person will be there to greet me on my next adventure and what better teacher could I ask for?

Follow me, really does say it all.